"Does your work give you a sense of fulfilment?"

Assalamualaikum w.b.t and Salam Ramadhan

I was reading and doing some research about my next novel (yes, I'm writing a new one) when I came across this story about a guy and an ex-yakuza. The guy was having problems in achieving his dream. He quit his job to do what he loves to do. But things are not that easy. Then, he met this ex-yakuza who asked him, "Does your work give you a sense of fulfilment? If it is, then don't stop. Don't give up."

This story reminds me of myself. I started working one week after I finished my final exam in UM. I didn't even have long vacation which I wanted so much. But then, it's better to be employed than unemployed, right? Especially, in today's world where finding a job is like an unending battle. Since then, I've never stop working. My life became a routine of going to the office, sleep at night, and go back to office the next day. I've became like the other millions employees in the world (or perhaps, billions?)

The downside? I don't really feel happy. Yes, I think I did good job, I've fulfilled my job expectations, and I got bonus for that. But, that's it. Just...that's it. No sense of fulfilment what-so-ever. I was lucky that I can actually write. Writing suddenly became my escapism. I went to the office from Monday to Friday, and I wrote at night. While still working in my previous office, I managed to publish two novels. 

And then...I made a decision that I think will forever change my life. I quit my job. Some people that I know went all..."Are you crazy? Do you know how hard it is to find a job? It's a permanent job in a well-known company." Yes, I know. People don't just suddenly wake up in the morning and said 'I want to quit my job.' 

Me, neither. I thought about it for a long time. I discussed it with parents. But my parents...being my parents, are not the type who would force their children to do what we don't want to do. They raised us to be independent and make our own life decision.

 "Think thoroughly and make your own decision. Whether you'll regret it or not, it's your own responsibility and you should bear it. As for us, we will always support you."

That's what my parents always told us when we need to decide on something. And I honestly, I'm happy that I have that kind of parents. They would always be there to give advice but would never force us on something. They thought us about the burden of making decision, and the responsibility that comes with it. 

And so, I decided to really quit my job and further study. No, I won't be a full-time writer, though it's my passion. It gives me the sense of fulfilment, it makes me happy, it doesn't tire me out even though I have to sleep at 3 am in the morning. But...I have my other future plans. And I'm looking forward to it. If you can have two jobs that give you the sense of fulfilment, then why you need to choose, right? 

Honestly, I'm just happy and lucky that I can actually took the step and throw away the security. Yes, working in the office is a security. I got paid every month, but it was at the expense of not being happy. I know there are a lot people who's not that happy with their jobs, but they are stuck to it because of money and responsibility towards the family. 

I....just don't want to be part of it. 

Lots of love,

~Sara Aisha~